Overwhelming blessings
everything everywhere all at once
June has been, for many years now, a turning point: for better or for worse. June has been a month of change, of pain, of movement, of stillness. Friction. Bending, gently.
This year has been no different. It keeps with tradition, and now that it’s basically over, I can say this with finality and certainty. And oh how fast it went.
Do you find that time continues to move, faster and faster as you age? At the end of her life, my grandmother told me this would happen. I think of that often because I am finding it true and also terrifying in its own way.
I haven’t been writing much at all because I’ve been distracted. Transitions have become harder on me as time has gone on, and it takes me longer than it used to to become comfortable in a place. New routines are tougher to build, and new responsibilities threaten to bring me to my knees.
In short, I am overwhelmed.
I suppose this is nothing new, if you know me well enough… but also, I would be surprised if you are currently not overwhelmed, considering all the pressure to keep on top of your own struggles, responsibilities (financial, medical, mental, physical, social), the state of the world and the threats we face, the warming planet, and on and on. So - we’re overwhelmed. And that’s okay.
That said, I am still blessed, and so are you. There are still precious moments to be grateful for. Last week was particularly hard, but here is what stood out to me:
Retail therapy is pretty hugely helpful. I didn’t have much money to spend but it was nice to buy myself something that wasn’t a new tire or a coffee
Yesterday I spent the day at the bay with family, where I found a little jellyfish swimming along the shore. I stood bent over for a few minutes watching it move — its singular, tiny little tendril trailing behind it. Pretty remarkable, if you ask me
Watching a thunderstorm from my front porch break the temperature after three 100 degree days
Driving (windows down) through the coastal suburbs of New Jersey, my home state, just after the sun sets is a special experience. Sometimes it smells of bonfire or barbecue, or chlorine, but sometimes it smells of Earth, and it’s all magical
Laughing, as much as I can
The camaraderie of baseball — practices, games, all of it. I love to run around and sweat and catch and spin around before I throw them back
Nighttime, walking alongside a friend, barefoot, through the park after rain
The warmth of another person in my bed
I imagine you have some of these too.
May your overwhelm feel curbed after making a list of your own. May you continue forward knowing there will be a lifetime of precious moments to celebrate. May you know you are not alone with any of it. May you feel blessed.
With oodles of love,
A
